Warriors: Our Version
by Sprit - Sprit and Aunt Rackie
Summary: What happens when you leave two teenage girls alone with a piece of paper, a pen, and NO rules? ...this story of course!
1. Chapter 1

Hi! We're Sprit – Sprit and Aunt Rackie! (no-duh, you probably realized that when you clicked on the story) Ya, uh we basically just wrote this story cause we thought it was funny. (and still do) So if it offends you then we're really sorry. The story is just kind of all the books in the warriors series put into our words and changed around a little. So ya read away!

**Disclaimer: **We don't own any of the characters in this story. Sorry if you feel that we're making fun of them, we sort of are, but we know that the author spent a lot of time writing the books, so we aren't trying to say we think her work is stupid.

**!REMEMBER WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**WARRIORS #1**

It starts out like any other newleaf, full of magic, touching, and licking each other. But when a new and sexier cat joins the pile (clan)

relationships are stirred up. First Longerection (Longtail) and Firefucker (Firepaw/newcat) have a VERY naughty welcoming party, but

things get a little out of hand and the pile has to call a meeting on not acting like (fill in the name of the first rapist that comes to your head).

Tigerwhore (Tigerclaw) agrees to take off his condom and give Firefucker some training in the art of being naughty in his own special

way. Soon Firefucker meets Grayscrotum (Graypaw) a sexy longhair with a hot teacher, and with expert training they are prepared to go

into the ultimate battle for dominance of the beauty salon (forest) with the other piles. Shadowpile proves to be the dirtiest. (dirtiest as in

horniest) So the rest of the piles have to put their sweaty, muscular bodies to the test in order to keep Shadowpile from turning the whole

forest into a strip joint. Firefucker and Grayscrotum take charge and thrust their way to the top of the spongy wrestling mound, where

their pile is saved and they take their relationship to a whole new level.

So ya, that's the first chapter to our story, more are on their way, and since they're so short they shouldn't take very long.

Anyway now that you've read it's time to review. (the button is down the page somewhere) While you're reviewing remember that just because we think our story's funny doesn't mean you have to, in fact you can hate it and think it's boring and stupid. If you do don't be afraid to say so, and swear as much as you can while you're insulting us because it makes you're review much more fun to read.

Bye. (again we apologize if we offended you.)


	2. Chapter 2

We're back, Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Even though none of you have bothered to review yet, but we know you're out there...waiting...for more of our juicy-delicious writing to read. Anyway this chapter is our version of Warriors book two, (no duh) and you are about two read it and then you're going to review it, and your review will be a suckingly long mother fucker of a review. (We know suckingly isn't a word.)

**Disclaimer:** We don't own any of these characters, and we're not making fun of them. You just think we are.

**!REMEMBER WE DON"T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**WARIORS #2**

It was about Grayscrotum (sexy longhair) who gets a hot babe from a different pile. Her name is Silverboob (Silverstream) and he can't

get off her. They have passionate meetings (where they do a lot more than talk) at the pile borders. Firefucker is jealous because when

Grayscrotum finally gets to him he's all tired, sweaty, and he smells like hot babe. (Silverboob is sleek and shiny which is TOTALLY in

this moon). Firefucker decides that he doesn't want Grayscrotum cheating on him, so he tries to rip him off, but Grayscrotum's inserted so

deeply in there that Firefucker just can't break the connection.. Grayscrotum gets a little pissed off because his best friend almost ripped

off his thing, and their relationship is torn apart rapidly. After loosing his other babe Grayscrotum gets more serious with Silverboob

(assuming that's possible) and they start to forget about their pile responsibilities. Unexpectedly the piles go into another fight for

dominance, and Grayscrotum has to face Silverboob in battle. He's like, "screw this." And he jumps on. But as the other cats are

gnawing on each other's tender bodies Firefucker rips him off and tries to kill Silverboob. (Overreacting a little eh!)

Graystripe's like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's my hump post…I mean babe." And he

dives dramatically in between them and saves Silverboob's life. Then he slaps Firefucker across the face and screams, "you pig!" and

rides Silverboob away. Everyone else is like, "fag," and they all go home and live happily ever after…until the next book where

everything gets fucked up again.

Alright then, now you've read two chapters of our story which we worked REALLY hard on. I think we deserve a review. (and if we don't get one we're going to get really pissed off! Bye!

(until next chapter)


	3. Chapter 3

Hi again! First of all we want to thank Streamheart who was the first to review us, but unfortunately one review doesn't quite do it for us (in other words **WE WANT MORE!**) So read the story, click the button, write some random words in the box, and be sure to mention what a kick-ass story this is. Alright we'll shut up now.

**Disclaimer:** We don't own any of these characters and we never will.

**!REMEMBER WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**Warriors #3**

It starts out with Firefucker giving up on Grayscrotum (he's just too into it with Silverboob) and noticing that Sandyanus (Sandstorm) is

hitting on him. Her emerald green, passion filled, streaked with intensity balls of goodness (eyes) dig deep into his heart (and other places)

as he struggles to discover where Grayscrotum's loyalty lies. Meanwhile Grayscrotum and Silverboob blast their relationship out of the

book as they plunge deeper into their connection and magical things happen. Tigerwhore becomes deputy of Thunderpile, but he's not

really paying attention to that because Goldencleavage (Goldenflower) has started a very passionate relationship with him, involving a

tender and magical experience. Bluestar is betrayed by Whitecock, who likes to lick her intensely. Whitecock is turned on by

Willowuterus's (Willoepelt's) large pelvic muscle, so he jumps on, and they constantly do it for the rest of the book. Cindertube

(Cinderpaw) gets hit by a truck full of animals. As she is recovering she grows closer in a lesbian sort of way towards Yellowmenstration,

(Yellowfang) who teaches her some important techniques in the art of healing. Her abilities are put to the test when Grayscrotum and

Silverboob get a little carried away with their magic. There is a bloody mess and she had to rely on Tigerwhore to lick it up. Just when

they believe that nothing is going to come out of Silverboob's muscular cervix, a bloody ball of fur is released and she drops dead.

Grayscrotum sucks on her dead body for the night, and is left distraught at the fact that it wont suck him back. He is so distraught that he

doesn't notice that two kits popped out of her before she died. The book ends with him suckling from her rotting nipple. (well actually it

doesn't, but it would be funny if it did.)

Before we freak out and start spazzing about wanting more reviews we wanted to tell you all that red tube dresses are horny little beasts and they're out to rape us all and rule the world. (if you read the Jak and Daxter story Growing Desires by Little Miss Anonymous you'll know what we mean.)

Okay now it's time for you to review(because **WE WANT MORE REVIEWS**), and you are going to review us because if you don't a red tube dress will probably come and get you and suck on your...um never mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Yo! This time we're not even going to say anything about the whole reviewing situation. We're just going to say that in our oppinion this is the best chapter yet and if you're not reading it right now then you're really missing out on a slobbery good time. We wrote this one a long time ago on a crumpled up piece of paper in the middle of english class, we were doing Grammer Shit...oops we mean Language Power, so you can expect it to be pretty damn creative.

**Disclaimer:** We don't own any of the Warriors characters, and we would never want to.

**!REMEMBER WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**Warriors #4**

This book begins with a quick release of salty anal fluids, then Firefucker is given a present from his older sister. (Princess-screw-me) It's

a white kit that she had with someone else. Firefucker's like, "Ugh, why didn't you have it with me, I'm always ready

muhahahahahahaha!" Princess-screw-me is like, "your weird," and she chucks the kit at him majestically. Firefucker takes the kit to his

pile (clan) and Bluestar names it Cloudysperm. But having another kittypet in the pile pisses Starpile (Starclan) off, so all the medicine cats

go on a bitch slapping / old-lady-fortune-teller moan fest, and as usual nothing comes of it. Meanwhile Grayscrotum suddenly realizes that

he has kits and notices they look like Silverboob so he jumps on and has a moment of relief from his grieving soul that has been torn apart

by the loss of his sexy mate. He switches to the Riverpile in his quest for passion bringing his kits with him so he can look at them

inappropriately. Tigerwhore's ambition is dominating his inner goodwill so he gets a pack of man-whores together and attacks his own

clan trying to kill most of them so he can lead the cluster of felines. He molests Bluestar himself, but when Firefucker walks in he pretends

to be attacking her so that he doesn't get turned on. Firefucker's like, "Oh. My. God. Your doing it wrong." And he shows him how

raping's really done. After three days Bluestar recovers from the intense tag team rape and banishes Tigerwhore from the clan. But she

liked Firefuckers techniques so he got to stay and become clan deputy.

MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (tee-hee.) You have to admit it's pretty hilarious, maybe we should write stories in english more often.(What? We're not even understanding ourselves.) Anyway REVIEW US!...or else.

Bye!


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the next chapter, it's a lot longer than any of the other ones, making it exceptionally succulent to lap up. (and also making it a lot harder to understand.) Alright, so since we really have nothing else to say we wont bore you any longer. Just read and review the story please.

**Disclaimer: **We don't own any of these characters, so don't sue us.

**!REMEMBER WE DON"T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**Warriors #5**

This book was full of lustful twists, turns and clutches. Since Tigerwhore was banished from the clan he was kind of bored so he did

something very, VERY naughty. Everyone was expecting this but were surprised and jealous when they found out that he'd been getting

it on with another species: wilddogs. (if you've seen the 8 Simple Rules with Sheryl in it you'll get the joke) The dog fur just tingled

Tigerwhores insides. Meanwhile Bluestar is going insane and forgetting about the pile she's supposed to lead. So the cat's of Thunderpile

are revealing their true sexual abilities. Whitecock gets board with Willowuterus cause she's always squirting 'em out so he can't get in.

He goes back to Bluestar. Firefucker and Sandyanus can't resist anymore and are nuzzling like never before, and Cloudysperm is in

training to become a Warrior-rapist. Meanwhile Grayscrotum is doing well in Riverpile, and his passion for his kits is never extinguished,

but he longs to wrap his powerful body around Firefucker like in the past. He got his chance when Tigerwhore got a little to feisty with

the wilddogs and ended up setting the forest on fire. The Thunderpile decide to take shelter under the breast of Leopardstar/in the

Riverpile camp. Grayscrotum was overpowered by his longing for sexual connection with a guy again so when Firefucker and his pile

leave he clutches on to the toms flaming ginger pelt and rides back on him. It's not the same without his sexy kits, but he copes with the

strain by joining in Firefuckers MANY affairs with cats of both genders. Meanwhile Tigerwhore, who couldn't even keep it among the

cats had moved on to wilddogs of both genders. He even started feeding them because he enjoyed hearing their slurping noises as they

sucked the blood out of other animal's butt holes. Once when they were experiencing some extreme sexual feelings they happened to roll

into Thunderpile camp. This really pissed them off so they decided to take revenge on the Thunderpile, and Tigerwhore was more than

happy to assist them by licking up their salty breast milk. While enjoying the rough texture of the milk Tigerwhore remembers that one of

his affairs got a little out of hand and the results of his naughtiness were still in Thunderclan. He tries to save his kits (Bramblebreast and

Tawnyass) but they refuse his carpet soft offer. Thunderpile follows their tingling pubic glands to sunning rocks. (the nude beach for

felines of all genders, weights, and bra sizes) But four noble warriors of truth and tranquility (Ashsucker, Fernovary, Sandyanus, and

Firefucker) decide to take the wilddogs head on and try to drown them in the river of sweat which is coming from a house where C.J.

and Sheryl are getting it on. (another 8 Simple Rules thing) Firefucker is the last cat left leading the dogs to the river and he is only a thrust

away from it when a condom-less Tigerwhore attacks him. But just when Firefucker is about to get pregnant Bluestar comes to the

rescue. Plunging the wilddogs into the river of sweat with her iron enforced cock. It seemed like she'd lost some of her insanity as well,

but then she turned around and did a cannonball into the water after the dogs. Her kits from another clan (even pile leaders have affairs)

rescue her. The do some intense mouth to mouth and Bluestar gets her breath and her brain back. By this time Firefucker had arrived and

Bluestar went on a dying leader moan rant about how Firefucker would save the clan and then die the lustful death of a sexy warrior.

Then she groaned about how he would lead Thunderpile after she went to hump with Starpile. Firefucker was overwhelmed by the foamy

drool coming out of her uterus, and he began to cry about not wanting her to leave him because she was the only cat in the clan that he

hadn't yet raped twice. The had a slow goodbye fuck fest but one of Bluestar's many dead mates started rubbing her towards the sky.

She left quickly because her old mate actually had balls unlike Firefucker. Thunderpile was left to rely on the sexual attitude of Firefucker

who'd quickly moved on to Grayscrotum once Bluestar left, to lead their pile/swarm/group/party/cluster/herd/pack/clan/thing.

That is the end of the fifth chapter! We just want to warn you that we're really pissed of cause school starts tomorrow, and we're in different classes, so you might wanna review cause you never know what we'll do to you if you don't.

Oh ya, and we're really happy that Streamheart said this was a kick-ass story, now if the rest of you people (that we hope are reading this story but just not reviewing it) would do the same then that would be nice.


	6. Chapter 6

Alright this is the last chapter, it sux cause we don't get to write anymore of it. Oh ya there's the new prophecy mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha he he he he he! WE WILL RETURN! Anyway Streamheart's still the only one that has reviewed, other than Aunt Rackie, who like me (Sprit-Sprit) got mad and reviewed us herself cause not a lot of other people bothered to. SO READ AND REVIEW!

Disclaimer: We still don't own any of the Warriors characters, in case you were wondering.

**!REMEMBER WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM!**

**Warriors #6**

This book was about Tigerwhore's fierce passion for love and justice in the forest. But when he meets a sexy queen named Leopardstar

they get drunk and breed uncontrollably causing them to feel the need to take over the forest. Firefucker sleeps with a dead cat before

realizing that it's in his ball range to ride his noble steed into Tigerwhore and Leopardstar's ball of latched together sweat, dirt and bloody

passion, and save the forest from being overrun by kits. The kits show true integrity as they rip through Tigerwhore's cock sending

Leopardstar flying away with kits squirting out of her among bloody tube dresses. Tigerwhore is angered, and in a lot of pain so he calls

upon the ancient powers of the Bloodymating pile. They turn every animal in the forest on, controlling relationships everywhere in their old

fashion boob ripping cock it and pull it ways. Firefucker shows true bravery as he sticks his hand up the annul region of the Bloodymating

clan's leader causing a pelvic reaction which makes his balls die and fall off. Without his balls of goodness the Bloodymating clan leader is

nothing so he runs home. Firefucker celebrates by getting a little touchy-feely with a rock, and earning nine lives. Then he attacks

Sandyanus mischievouslyyy causing a reaction to the child producer which results in the spurting out of retarded kits with special (and

possibly sexual) connections to eachother.

THE END (dun, dun, dun.)

This is depressing isn't it. (actually we hope you guys don't get depressed over stupid stories on the internet) It's now really over, and the best thing you can do about that is...you guessed it...I hope...REVIEW! (and make it extra long because it's the end and we uh...want an extra long review.)

By the way watch for our next awesome story it'll be called The New Prophecy: Our Version (creative eh.) And you're obviously gonna luv it cause it's gonna be devilous, magestic, and streaked with intensity! (the only thing we have to do before it get's published is...uh...write it. Shouldn't take long!)

!BYE!


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